Between Christmas Day and Valentine’s Day, my social feeds explode with news of recent engagements. This year was no different. Two days after Christmas, my college best friend called to tell me that she is engaged! We squealed and talked and stared at the new sparkling diamond on her left hand. I couldn’t be happier for her and her fiancé. And I’m beyond thrilled to help her plan her wedding. But, as I reflected on her exciting news that evening, a small twinge of sadness settled over me. A tiny voice in my head whispered the same question asked a thousand times before, “When will it be my turn?” with still no answer. I didn’t want to feel this way. After all, I should be elated, right? My friend is getting married! But still...that feeling of something akin to hopelessness lingers. This time of year is one of the hardest for singles. Family gatherings, happy couples, and the question, “so...any guy in your life?” that serves as the ever-present reminder of my single state.
When something seemingly “perfect” crosses my path, be it a perfect job, a perfect guy, a perfect opportunity, a perfect situation, I eagerly place all my “eggs” in that basket: my hope, my happiness, and my heart. The three H’s. The problem with that? When that “perfect” is no longer mine, when it is snatched out of my control, I lose it. My hope vanishes, my happiness fades, and my heart aches. I literally become an emotional wreck. The tears flow freely and the thoughts run rampant.
Beautiful Mess....The Lord still obviously has a lot of work yet to do on me. I’m a hot mess. But gratefully, the Lord takes my mess, full of foolishness, faithlessness, and frustration, and turns it into something beautiful. I am His beautiful mess.
While I'm in the middle of the series, "You'll Be Glad You Did," I felt the Lord leading me to be transparent this evening and share what I have held inside for a while. I hope that this post can minister to you if you are facing a similar situation, if only to let you … Continue reading Facing the Unknown