Don’t you love it when the Lord reveals pieces of the puzzle or sheds light on something that has been in the dark for far too long? Me too. Except right now, I would have to say I’m currently in the dark on a huge part of the Lord’s plan for my life. And it frustrates me. I like being able to answer the question, “ What’s your plan,” with a sure answer. Or take comfort in the fact that I know where I will be in “X” number of years or what I will be doing. I’m a planner. It’s what I do. It’s both a strength and a weakness. But truth is, I can’t plan this. And the Lord never promised that I would be able
to. That’s why #1 on my list of lessons-on-repeat is TRUST. I call them “lessons-on-repeat” because it seems like I can’t get them through my stubborn head. It’s almost like it is the Lord’s favorite “song,” and he is playing it on repeat again…and again…and again…until I am sick of it.
For my #1, I almost wrote “patience,” but as I was thinking about it, I realized that patience is a subsidiary of trust. If we truly trust in the Lord and trust in His sovereign plan for our life, then patience is a natural outcome. Notice the emphasis on TRULY. I know I’m guilty of this. I will say, “Oh, I trust in the Lord. I know he has a plan for me and His timing is perfect.” Sadly, I only truly, deep-down, without a shadow-of-a-doubt, believe that a small percentage of the time. The other percentage of the time, it’s almost like I am speaking the words so that maybe with repetition, I will finally believe them. You are taught that it takes hearing something 7 times before you truly remember it, right? Maybe that works with this? Well I don’t know, that’s probably a reach, but the point is, I have learned that trust is KEY to contentment. For that reason, I have quotes about trust plastered on just about every wall and horizontal surface in my house.
When you can’t see God’s hand, trust his heart.
Lord, if it is not your will, let it slip through my grasp and give me the peace not to worry about it.
Be patient. Our prayers are always answered, but not always on the exact day we’d like them to be.
Don’t put a period where God has placed a comma.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will keep your paths straight. ~Prov. 3:5-6
Some doors that God doesn’t open for you is nothing more than divine protection. And others, the timing isn’t right yet. Trust Him.
The last quote is actually the background of my iPhone lock screen. You would think looking at these every day would remind me to trust the Lord, and while they do remind me, I just don’t always listen. Now I’m not saying I don’t trust the Lord and believe with all my heart that He wants and has planned the best for me. It is just that in the day-to-day living, I sometimes lose sight of that and get caught up in what I don’t have instead of being thankful for what I have already been given.
I struggle with trusting the Lord with my future, my finances, and my friendships. I trust him with the here-and-now. I trust him to give me breath every morning and to keep me safe throughout the day. But my future? Naw, that’s too big of a task for the Creator of the universe. How dumb am I? That I can’t seem to trust my unknown future to an all-knowing God? The Lord still obviously has a lot of work yet to do on me. I’m a hot mess. But gratefully, the Lord takes my mess, full of foolishness, faithlessness, and frustration, and turns it into something beautiful. I am His beautiful mess. And in that, I place my hope and entrust my future (well, I’m working on the latter).
I’m a hot mess. But gratefully, the Lord takes my mess, full of foolishness, faithlessness, and frustration, and turns it into something beautiful. I am His beautiful mess. And in that, I place my hope and entrust my future (well, I’m working on the latter).
If you are reading this and are struggling with trusting the Lord, whether it is with your relationships, with your career, with your family, with your finances, or whatever it is, take comfort in the fact that you are God’s beautiful mess too and you are not walking this journey alone.
a diamond in between 
Keep going! You are truly heartfelt.